Thursday, September 1, 2011

Labor Day Weekend

It is Thursday before Labor Day and I will have a three day weekend as many people will but mine will be free of no radiation and chemo for one extra day.  I am pretty sure next week will suck because of the shortness of time.  It really does take the whole week to get this stuff out of your system.  My hair is falling out like crazy now and it is driving me crazy.  It itches so bad.  I go out every morning on my porch and brush it cause it is so loose and I cry.  I only wash it once a week because it comes  out in my hands and I cry.  I had such beautiful hair and everybody says, Oh it will grow back, but it hurts, it just hurts!  I can not sit in front of a fan or even walk in front of one that my hair does not  blow off my head.  I don't want to wear a cap or a turban because that only pulls more out when you take it off. 

Our cat is really sick, we have maxed out our credit cards trying to find out whats wrong with him but the vets don't seem to know.  We can't pay to have him put down right now, it costs to much.  I think he is sick because I am sick.  What to do???

I want to thank everyone who has sent cards and thoughts and prayers my way.  I can not express how much it means to me.  You are all so kind.  Three weeks left and hopefully I will be on my way back.  Three weeks, I am counting the days, hours and minutes.

I did not get this from smoking alone, my mom and dad both died of cancer.  It is in our genes.  I know it was a  contributor, and I look and people smoking at a bar and I want to yell at them and I have to bite my tongue.  I want a cure for cancer, I want an answer of why it has invaded our lives. I want a cure, beside taking this poison of chemo and radiation.  Most of all I want to have my tests come back that I am clean when this is all over with,  as one Dr. said to me, we can not guarantee thay won't come back but we will try to get rid of it now.  I truly do not know if I can ever go through this again, only time will tell.

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