Dec 14 10 days til Christmas Eve

Hello, it has been a while since I have written but sooooo much has been happening since my last post.  I went for a pet scan and they saw something that concerned them so then I had to go for a biopsy and praise the Lord it was all negative!!!!!  I am cancer free right now and I will get another check up via cat scan at the end of Feb so Merry Christmas to me and all my loved ones and family and friends.  I am such a lucky woman and am so grateful for all the support and love I have gotten from so many people.  I could not of gotten through this if it wasn't for the people who sent me encouraging words and prayers.  Please keep people in your prayers who have cancer, I just found out that a very dear friend of mine who beat breast cancer now has lung cancer, the same I had, so one battle won and one more to fight.    She survived four and a half years and I told her technology has gotten so much better to fight the fight and she too will make it though,  I finally have fuzz on the top of my head and I am so excited to see what grows.  I wish I could spend Christmas with my sister and brother in law, my niece and nephews and my beautiful great nephews and brand new great niece but finances won't allow it and we have received our family present by me being clean from cancer.  Hopefully next year, hopefully hopefully sooner! Merry Christmas to all and a very happy New Year to you and your loved ones, may it be filled with peace and joy.

Happy Halloween!!

Went to both Dr's today, chemo and radiologist and was released by both until I get a pet scan on Nov 29.  Yippy!!! No more chemo or radiation.  I have to go for the next couple of weeks to get blood checked but that's all.  It seemed like this day would never come, but the most important is getting a good pet scan.  The Dr said I should start getting some hair back in about 6 weeks.  God, I can't wait.   I have no eyebrows, eyelashes or hair anywhere!  It's horrible!  Last week I had my last chemo and the next day I had a blood transfusion, instead of the shot and that worked out for me alot better.  So that is where it stands right now, and I am happy, so I will wait for 3-4 weeks and pray for the best.  Thank you to all who have cared and please keep me in your prayers I need it.  For those who call and check on me Thank you.

Oct 18

Well it has been a long time since I wrote but that last chemo just about killed me.  It was 5 hours long total and then the next day I had to go for a shot which they said would make my joints ache.  Ache they did and then some, everywhere, I could barely walk and get out of bed and I took pain pills, half of what they per scribed and that constipated me for 4 days.  I really thought I was on my last days.  I am still not feeling well and it has now been two and a half weeks and I am suppose to go through this again next Monday.  I have had to go the last two Monday's and get my blood drawn and my counts keep going down but they don't seem to be to concerned.  I have a cough that makes me feel like I have smoked a pack of cigs a day, and I am not smoking!  I told the nurse all of this yesterday about how I was feeling and she said if it got any worse to let them know.  I DO NOT WANT TO DO MY LAST TREATMENT!!!!!!!!  I am so burned and tired and achy and bald, my hair follicles hurt all over my head,  I am having trouble eating and I am losing weight, things are getting so loose on me.  I sleep for two hours and then up to the bathroom, drink lots of water and back to sleep for two hours.  I want this all to end.  I want to know that somethings good has happened from all this, I want to see some test results!!!

Well, I guess I will just have to wait until next Monday and see what the Dr. says.  Thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts and prayers.  Until next time......

Sept 28

I have not been able to write for a while because I hit a brick wall, literally, that is what it felt like.  I could not move, I could not talk, I could barely breathe, I thought I was really dieing.  Four days of that and on  day five I said to Dennis, take me to the emergency room.  My blood count was very very low and I had to get a blood transfusion.  It has been almost two weeks and I am now just starting to feel a little bit better, still real tired and can take a nap at a drop of the hat.  I am done with radiation, thank god,  it took forever to get the last two treatments in but I finally finished last Friday.  Now on Monday I start a new chemo.  This three different kinds and altogether will take about five hours to sit through.  I am not looking forward to that.  Then I will be off for three weeks and then get another one of these treatments if this one doesn't do to me what the last ones did.  Prayers are always welcome, thank you. 

Mon Sept 12 2011

Hip Hip Hooray, Hip Hip Hooray, I am done with chemo for 3 whole weeks.  I have 3 radiations left and then I am done for 3 whole wonderful, glorious weeks.  Can I be any happier, (well only if I was told I would be a grandmother again, but hell, its great to be able to spoil my one and only, turning 10 on the 17th.)  The Dr called off my last one because I am doing good on treatment but my cell count is so low and wants time to bring it up before the mother of chemos happens in 3 weeks.  The next one will be 5-6 hours long. Ugh!  But I hope so worth it.  And I still have a little hair, thank you mama!  Even my Dr was surprised but it's not much and it hurts so bad to have it touched. 

Had a great time with my girlfriends on the beach this weekend, sorry I couldn't keep up like the old days.

Thank you to all the friends and acquaintances who have sent me love and support, please don't stop because I truly need it and it has helped so much to get me through this,  I have never been alone because of you all.

Sept 5 Labor Day

It has been a fabulous weekend,  my wonderful daughter surprised me and my sweet babycakes granddaughter to a pedicure and manicure.  I haven't had one one of those for 4 years and it felt so good.  Thank you so much my sweet Jenny girl.  We had a wonderful cookout at our friend Paul's and even the rain could not stop the fun!  On Sunday we went to a fairwell party for the best bartender the ever has existed from the old Channelmark, Stacie, who is moving to Oregon (really? are you kindding me), you will be back I just know it.  What a party that was, talk about a woman who is truly loved, it is her.  It was so wonderful to see all the people that supported and showed up for her.  As the saying goes, It takes a village and we all were a village.
I am getting more run down, maybe it is from the weekend, but I feel I am losing more and more blood cells.  Chemo at 10:00 and then radiation. 
This weekend one of my very best girlfriends is turning 50 and she is hoping to get together for fun on the beach.  I do too! 
Week 5 here I come lets do it!!

Labor Day Weekend

It is Thursday before Labor Day and I will have a three day weekend as many people will but mine will be free of no radiation and chemo for one extra day.  I am pretty sure next week will suck because of the shortness of time.  It really does take the whole week to get this stuff out of your system.  My hair is falling out like crazy now and it is driving me crazy.  It itches so bad.  I go out every morning on my porch and brush it cause it is so loose and I cry.  I only wash it once a week because it comes  out in my hands and I cry.  I had such beautiful hair and everybody says, Oh it will grow back, but it hurts, it just hurts!  I can not sit in front of a fan or even walk in front of one that my hair does not  blow off my head.  I don't want to wear a cap or a turban because that only pulls more out when you take it off. 

Our cat is really sick, we have maxed out our credit cards trying to find out whats wrong with him but the vets don't seem to know.  We can't pay to have him put down right now, it costs to much.  I think he is sick because I am sick.  What to do???

I want to thank everyone who has sent cards and thoughts and prayers my way.  I can not express how much it means to me.  You are all so kind.  Three weeks left and hopefully I will be on my way back.  Three weeks, I am counting the days, hours and minutes.

I did not get this from smoking alone, my mom and dad both died of cancer.  It is in our genes.  I know it was a  contributor, and I look and people smoking at a bar and I want to yell at them and I have to bite my tongue.  I want a cure for cancer, I want an answer of why it has invaded our lives. I want a cure, beside taking this poison of chemo and radiation.  Most of all I want to have my tests come back that I am clean when this is all over with,  as one Dr. said to me, we can not guarantee thay won't come back but we will try to get rid of it now.  I truly do not know if I can ever go through this again, only time will tell.